Tracks
The following was written years ago and a bit of a middle 20s angst. Yet I think there are elements that even today ring true.
I’m always worried I’ll miss the train.
Continuously looking over my checklist,
Ensuring I have it all in place like Mr. Realist..
As i’m checking and rechecking that list, I started listening to
The Lacrimosa tailored by the famous guru.
There I sat, the man in Sunday best, engulfed in the
Thread of a true master, who made cathedrals blossom.
But listening closely, I heard a knocking from one of the majestic organs.
A wretched howl, leashed within the corridor of the ancient temple,
My heart broke free jumping the fence upon the tracks.
Tying itself down to what it thinks it needs next
Holding down its ear to the tracks waiting..
Waiting for the rumble of my Great New something.
I replied and gave it the evil eye and said,
“Oh heart! I understand you are hungry,
But let it rest till that other becomes,
A harmonious chord to the sound of the bells chiming.”
He just stared within his pulsating motion
With a quiver of lip, and a whisper he replied,
“At times it feels i’m out of coal, no steam to remember there is more
Help me not become an empty vessel!”
Shaking and looking down into the distant lands,
I stoop down, to pick what was supposed to be flesh
Rather war with the miner’s worst nightmare. Stuck.
I stood up and in anger exclaimed,
“I Declare, Heart. Stop attaching to things you cannot keep!
Riding life from one place to another and living..
jumping on board and becoming a gypsy.
This is not good. Are there times where reason cannot explain?
Where life pulls you along like Krampus’ sack?
Or raped by Perchten, hideous Goddess of the black?
Why my friend the answer is yes.”
After finishing, I sat there for an hour,
watching the little man in his crimson pullover.
Finally he gasps and with an outburst of song he sings,
“You created a beautiful man and woman
Among the evergreen and apple trees
Seeking an adventure, relationship eternal
It was a sight most glorious and good
Simply perfect as that of a happily ever after
But then there was that one dark day
Such a shame, such a shame
When I said, “No Longer!” and left you for another scene
Oh God forgive me for what I did
Forgive me from all the honor I fled.
Now after treading the dark road for 6 million years
I only have to say,
It is today when I cry for more
I want you now to come back and fill my empty cup
For I only hurt to see anguish and shame.
I pray oh God my God come back.
Back so I don’t have to worry…
Back to the way it was intended,
Back so that I can see beautiful Zion.
And be a part of its glory.
For my faith in you is victory.
God lend me a piece of your heart…
So that I can copy down the wondrous ways of your love…
I am hurting and falling apart inside.
Erect your foundation in me, the one I can’t buy.
Oh God fill me with your kingdom and make me less longing.
I don’t want to be this way but I am really hurting…
Place the bandage of your name upon the breast of your beloved.
Clean the stains, of my adulterated fabric
For I am yours.”
But there I sat,
Sinking back so unknowingly parched, by the words that clasped my heart.
“I sit and I sew”
So the train, well… and at that the track ended.
